Growth mindset

 I think it pays never to get too comfortable in your skin.

So when my partner invited me to the Alpine National Park for work, and said that there would be some 4wding, I said yes. Despite and overlooking the fact that I had never driven a manual car by myself and that I'd never done any 4wding.

Don't get me wrong - the terror I felt inside me for the weeks leading up to this experience have been fraught with anxiety dreams and waking up in a cold sweat - ready to pick up the phone and pull out of the whole thing.

But something in me, the part of me that is adventurous and loves the outdoors, always stopped me before I muttered the words. I mentioned in passing that I was pretty nervous (aka terrified) and we did some manual driving together for practice. I wouldn't say that I was terribly confident when I drove out of Melbourne last Tuesday morning - and neither would I say that I didn't grind the gears a few times or make a rapid gear change a couple of times either. But by the time we reached Heyfield, I was feeling like I was doing ok. I could do this. I am an independent, kick arse woman who can learn new skills.

After picking up the signs that we were installing for Parks Victoria, we headed off in convoy. Music cranking, I even felt okay to rest my arm on the window and relax a fraction.

Fast forward to the evening, and we were driving down a little track to get to one of the most spectacular campsites I've ever stayed at. Panoramic views of the valleys, looking out over to Mount Hotham - I felt like I was on top of the world and I had conquered my fears. I had done it! Driven a manual car alone and done some 4wding as well to get into the campsite.

Ha!

Little did I know what was in store.

From there the 4wding moved rapidly into low range, first gear terrifying. Down steep, rocky hills at a snails pace, not being able to see the road over the bonnet, river crossings, and negotiating bog holes and narrow roads and seemingly 'end of the world' drop offs, dangerously close to my driver's seat. Each night, as we would pull into another majestic campsite (seriously paradise) my poor, little, over adrenalised body would collapse into a camp chair with a whiskey - secretly high fiving myself that I had survived.

But each day when I woke up, I felt more confident. I had actually survived the day before. I had driven on roads that would have given me a cold sweat (well to be honest, they still did). But once you start driving on them, you have no option most of the time, than to keep going. The only way out was forward, cause I sure as hell was not going to reverse on those roads!!!!

And then driving out on Monday, back onto the freeway, I wondered what I had been worried about with the traffic. The traffic seemed easy in comparison.

In the short space of a week, I had upskilled myself in a skill that I find terrifying - but also exciting. Maybe 75% terrifying, 25% exciting - but given that we're going back next week for another round, maybe there is room for that to grow...

Turns out you can teach an old bird new tricks..

I wonder what skill I will turn my sights to now...

with gratitude

Anna

xx